Yo--couple of things.
July 4th-ish to July 8th-ish, I'm going to Cedar Point to meet up with Amber, Brian, Bethany and anyone else they're bringing. I'm gonna drive, and anyone in the Omaha area who's interested in going with is more than welcome to tag along. What's Cedar Point? you may ask. Well, if you are asking that, you're not worthy of my attention from this point on. Just kidding. It's (supposedly--I've never been there) the best roller coaster theme park in the country. However, I was just reading about my current favorite theme park, Six Flags Magic Mountain near L.A., and it turns out that until very recently, it actually OUT-NUMBERED Cedar Point in roller coasters. However, this year, it retired one, and Cedar Point opened a new one, so it's behind by two now. But I digress. It's located in Sandusky, OH, and it's about a 10 hour drive. (Road trip, anyone???) It's gonna be a blast, and the more the merrier (and the cheaper!), as far as I'm concerned. Also, since Chicago is like a 15 mile detour from the highway on the way, I may stop there for the last night just to check it out--I haven't been there yet, and I've been dying to go. So let me know asap if you're interested.
Also, it has recently been proposed to me by my very good friend Kim to go to NYC AGAIN for New Years, '08. You know I'm all over that. And so should you. I had a blast last year, even though it was kind of a last-minute trip. She's gonna round up some of her people, and I'm gonna try to round up some of mine. So, if you're interested, start savin' up for a plane ticket, and a portion of the hotel. Kim knows a member of NYPD, so we should be able to get an excellent spot in Times Square for the festivities. You know there's no better place to be on New Years than in New York. Just something to ponder over the next six months or so. Let me know if you're in....
Ok, some side stuff--my iPod died. Completely. So, I'm now the proud owner of a brand spankin' new Creative Zen:M. It's basically an iPod, but I think it's cooler. It gets FM radio, has a voice recorder, and it's interface seems to be better. Video conversion isn't the pain in the a** I hear it is on the iPod, and the software is basically Windows Explorer--just drag 'n' drop the dang files in the player, and yer good to go. So, I'm happy, though not so much about the financial expenditure involved.
Also, I failed to realize that I had to submit for my tuition assistance for my summer class BEFORE the class started. I had figured it had more to do with when the bill was DUE, not when the damn class started. But no, the rules say it has to be submitted within the 30-day window prior to class start, and I missed it. I submitted a very nice letter requesting late tuition assistance, explaining my confusion and my newness to the whole process, but--and ya gotta love the military for this--they could'nt've cared less. They denied my request, and I was stuck with the bill. Ouch. Let that be a lesson to all you fellow service members out there who are looking into going back to school. Expensive lesson on my part.
Hmmm...what else...training still sucks...uhh....been jamming out to all those tunes everyone suggested to me....thanks again for that....still working on conquering my damn guitar, but finding the time sometimes is difficult....same for jujitsu and my workouts.
OH! And my wisdom teeth-pulling was rescheduled for this Monday. For those of you that didn't know, my last appointment several weeks ago was cancelled due to an unscheduled base exercise. Then, it was rescheduled for 9 July, but then they scheduled another exercise for that time. So now it's this monday, God willing. So, I'll probably be hurting and high, in alternating intervals. Visitors welcome--Don't be shy! Stop on by; we'll watch a movie or sum'at.
Alright, back to my studies...
Listening to: Jump Back: The Best of the Rolling Stones 1971-1993 by the Rolling Stones
What I've learned about Hollywood you could put in a cup — a bra cup, size C.
For years people have asked if I mind being remembered as Princess Leia. I used to say no. But now I will say that it sometimes bothers me, yes. It follows me around like a little smell.
I'm very sane about how crazy I am.
Anything you can do in excess for the wrong reasons is exciting to me.
Mothers are great. They outlast everything. But when they're bad, they're the worst thing that can happen.
What I know about love I learned from being a mother. I want to chew the back of my daughter's thigh.
When you breed two Hollywood people together, you end up with someone like me.
If I'm drawn to anything, it would be kindness.
Here's what I've learned: that someone can change the course of history with a box cutter.
Fathers have laps. They have patience. They want to hear what you have to say. They have Band-Aids in their medicine cabinet and books to read to you. My father didn't have any of that. But he had songs to sing. He had other stuff.
I like having written, the same way I like having gone to the gym. I'm a conversationalist more than a writer. I take dictation from myself. I talk about myself behind my back.
I know my likes and dislikes now. I don't like exercise but I do it. I like drugs but I don't do them.
All the good people are nuts.
Ambition is exhausting. It makes you friends with people for the wrong reasons, just like drugs.
I don't have wifely skills. I tried to learn them. I tried to learn to cook and clean and stuff like that. But then I realized it's not skills you need, it's impulses. It's having the impulses to care for someone.
I got a fortune cookie that said, "You will always be surrounded by comfort." And I wrote after it, "But you won't always be comfortable."
Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing.
Rehab? The first time is a gift; the second time is a bitch.
When you get on a manic run, you feel like you're a house burning down from the inside out. It's like having a bellyful of electric eels. Every ball you hit is out of the park. Every word you're searching for is right at the tip of your tongue. You look through the facts in your head, your library, your catalog of memories and experiences and information, and it's all there, everything. You have every connection before you even look for it. It's the best version of yourself, sold back to yourself on the cheap every minute every minute every minute.
The older you get, the easier it is to spot the phonies. And I just think, How unpleasant for them.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
There's no way to prepare for seeing yourself rendered as a 12-inch plastic doll.
It's more difficult when you lose a man to another man. It's not like you can look at yourself in the mirror and think, Mmmm, if only I had bigger breasts.
I like songs that should only be sung at night when your heart is breaking.
I have tried to function as a trusting person and I've been nailed. Now it's me that I don't trust.
I'm so sick of talking about myself I'm gonna faint.
What I've Learned: Jaime Pressley
I'm a woman; I'm going to fluctuate.
Determination is kind of like rhythm: You can't teach it. I've always had this voice inside of me saying, "You're going to do it, don't give up!" Maybe it's because I have a lot of testosterone. I don't know. I just have so much drive. There's nothing you can do or say that's going to stop me from going where I want to go.
When somebody is kissin' my ass and sugarcoatin' everything, that's when I say no.
Classic is classic for a reason.
Jaime is spelled that way because it means "I love" in French. Pressly is always misspelled, with an e, because people think it's gotta be spelled like Elvis.
The people who actually give a damn about me spell my name correctly.
I performed in public for the first time at three years old. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was on a big stage. There were probably three or four hundred people in the audience. We were doing this dance, this Kermit the Frog routine, all of us in our little green leotards. After the dance, we had to come out and do a forward roll or some other little trick. My trick was this thing where I took my legs and literally wrapped them around my head, and then I put my hands down and I walked around the stage on my hands -- I was a little contortionist, you know? And so I walk down the mat and back, and then Miss Jodi goes, "Okay, Jaime, put your legs down." But I couldn't! I was wearing tights and I had this hairpiece in my hair, and the tights got stuck on my hairpiece, and I couldn't unwrap my legs. I was like, "I'm stuck! I'm stuck!" But Miss Jodi, she was a cool customer. She just reaches down and puts her hand through my legs and picks me up like a basket. And then she says, "Wave goodbye, Jaime!" And I did. And everybody just lost it laughing and clapping, and she carried me offstage. When I got in the back and they got my legs undone, I went, "Listen, Mom, I'm famous! I'm going to be famous!"
If you want to do something, just do it. No one is going to do it for you.
It's not that I want the control; it's just that I want to be able to take care of myself, which is why I've worked as hard as I have -- so no one can tell me what I can and cannot do. When you're financially equal, there's no resentment.
We all have baggage. The question is: What baggage can you deal with?
My father taught me what it is to fish -- to be able to breathe, to be able to chill out and wait for the fish to bite. Simple things like that have really helped me stay in this business, because it's a waiting game. You've gotta be able to calm down and not take every job. You wanna wait for the big fish.
You get one negative thing out of your mouth about somebody, and seconds later you trip and bust your ass. It happens instantly.
I love television because I get to stay home.
Comic timing: You're either born with it or not.
"Earl" is not like an everyday TV show. We shoot a mini-film every week. There is such a thing as good television and good writing.
I was supposed to be on that first plane. I was in North Carolina, and I needed to go to L.A. To get there, I had three different options -- none of which were direct flights. One of the options was Raleigh to Boston to L.A. At the last minute I changed it. I was like, a) I don't want to get up that early, and b) it's stupid to go around your ass to get to your thumb. So I canceled it last minute. And that turned out to be the first plane to hit the World Trade Center. I don't really like to talk about it, but there it is. It's what could have been.
Once you've appeared in Playboy, you can't ever work for Procter & Gamble.
Pretty runs out.
What I've Learned: Robert De Niro
I like it when interviews are brief. Are we done yet?
When I was a teenager, I went to the Dramatic Workshop at the New School. The school had a lot of actors under the GI Bill -- Rod Steiger, Harry Belafonte, the generation ahead of me. I went in there and the director said to me, "Vy do you vant to be an acteh?" I didn't know how to answer, so I didn't say anything. And he said, "To express yourself!" And I said, "Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's right."
We used to roller-skate. Not like these souped-up Rollerblades they have today. Roller skates with ball bearings. We'd hang on to the back of a truck and go for a ride for a couple of blocks until the streetlight turned red and the truck stopped. Then one day they changed the lights to a stagger system. Only we didn't know. All the lights changed up an avenue at intervals so you could go twenty or thirty blocks without stopping. Suddenly, I'm stuck on the back of one of these trucks, and after four blocks, I'm realizing that the next light isn't going to turn red. The driver doesn't know you're on the back. You have no choice but to keep hanging on till he stops. There are things you do that when you get older, you realize how stupid they were.
Some people say, "New York's a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there." I say that about other places.
You have no idea that years later, people in cars will recognize you on the street and shout, "You talkin' to me?" I don't remember the original script, but I don't think the line was in it. We improvised. For some reason it touched a nerve. That happens.
Marty Scorsese listens. He's open to unexpected things on that -- this is a flowery way of saying it -- on that voyage. He takes ideas, and he's not afraid to try them.
There's no such thing as not being afraid.
Money makes your life easier. If you're lucky to have it, you're lucky.
I left a meeting right after they hit the World Trade Center. I went to my apartment, which looks south, and I watched it out my window. I could see the line of fire across the North Tower. I had my binoculars and a video camera -- though I didn't want to video it. I saw a few people jump. Then I saw the South Tower go. It was so unreal, I had to confirm it by immediately looking at the television screen. CNN was on. That was the only way to make it real. Like my son said: "It was like watching the moon fall."
I didn't have a problem with rejection, because when you go into an audition, you're rejected already. There are hundreds of other actors. You're behind the eight ball when you go in there.
At this point in my career, I don't have to deal with audition rejections. So I get my rejection from other things. My children can make me feel rejected. They can humble you pretty quick.
It's true: I spent lunchtime in a grave during the filming of Bloody Mama. When you're younger, you feel that's what you need to do to help you stay in character. When you get older, you become more confident and less intense about it -- and you can achieve the same effect. You might even be able to achieve more if you take your mind off it, because you're relaxed. That's the key to it all. When you're relaxed and confident, you get good stuff.
The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. You're in a conversation and everybody's agreeing with what you're saying -- even if you say something totally crazy. You need people who can tell you what you don't want to hear.
Movies are hard work. The public doesn't see that. The critics don't see it. But they're a lot of work. A lot of work.
When I'm directing a great dramatic scene, part of me is saying, "Thank God I don't have to do that." Because I know how f***ing hard it is to act. It's the middle of the night. It's freezing. You gotta do this scene. You gotta get it up to get to that point. And yet, as a director, you've got to get the actors to that point. It's hard either way.
What's the difference between sex and love? Hmm. That's a good question. Hey, you interviewed Al Pacino. How'd he answer that?
When a parent dies, it's the end. I always wanted to chronicle the family history with my mother. She was always interested in that. I wanted some researchers I'd worked with to talk to my mother, but my mother was a little antsy about it. I know she would've gotten into it. It would have been okay with my father, too. But I wasn't forceful, and I didn't make it happen. That's one regret I have. I didn't get as much of the family history as I could have for the kids.
As you get older, the more complicated things get. It's almost therapeutic to be doing simple things with the kids.
If you don't go, you'll never know.
What I've Learned: Muhammad Ali
God will not place a burden on a man's shoulders knowing that he cannot carry it.
Parkinson's is my toughest fight. No, it doesn't hurt. It's hard to explain. I'm being tested to see if I'll keep praying, to see if I'll keep my faith. All great people are tested by God.
The sun is always shining someplace.
I came back to Louisville after the Olympics with my shiny gold medal. Went into a luncheonette where black folks couldn't eat. Thought I'd put them on the spot. I sat down and asked for a meal. The Olympic champion wearing his gold medal. They said, "We don't serve niggers here." I said, "That's okay, I don't eat 'em." But they put me out in the street. So I went down to the river, the Ohio River, and threw my gold medal in it.
Since that day, things in America have changed 100 percent.
When you're right, nobody remembers. When you're wrong, nobody forgets.
Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.
We have one life / It soon will be past / What we do for God / Is all that will last.
Goodness? My mother.
When your mother dies, it really hurts. But with time, you get used to it. That's nature's way.
My definition of evil is unfriendliness.
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
Comedy is a funny way of being serious. My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
It's possible for the heavyweight champion of the world to be with one woman.
Love is a net that catches hearts like fish.
Rubble is trouble.
The more we help others, the more we help ourselves.
I like Joe.
Watching George come back to win the title got me all excited. Made me want to come back. But then the next morning came, and it was time to start running. I lay back in bed and said, "That's okay, I'm still the Greatest."
If I could meet anybody? The prophet Muhammad.
What you are thinking about, you are becoming.
I'm most proud of my family.
Enjoy your children, even when they don't act the way you want them to.
Lighting that torch in Atlanta didn't make me nervous. Standing up to the government—that made me nervous.
Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.
The one thing I don't understand is war.
Brooding over blunders is the biggest blunder.
I'd like to live to a hundred.
I just wish people would love everybody else the way that they love me. It would be a better world.
What I've Learned: Pamela AndersonPeople say I'm the ultimate California girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian.
Come on, people! It's never what it seems.
My grandfather was a healer from Finland. My real last name is Hyytiänen. He changed it to Anderson when he came to Canada. All of his brothers changed their names, too, so I have a feeling that maybe something bad happened in Finland.
My breasts have a career. I'm just tagging along.
I'm a soccer mom.
I'm T-ball, soccer, karate, homework, keeping them on their schedules. I love being the snack mom, when I get to bring the cut oranges. I have one of those coolers with wheels. I'm at every game, every practice, sitting on my blanket. I love it.
I had kids to raise them myself.
I'm kind of proud of myself. I've been able to keep a certain grace about me, even in the times of disgrace and craziness.
Baywatch was a great show. It was completely mindless. You could turn it on in any language and still be entertained. You could turn it on halfway through an episode and still enjoy it. Now that's entertainment.
Are you kidding? Of course there's a red bathing suit in my new clothing line.
You'd think that my fans would be the guys who are too drunk to turn the channel after football. But surprisingly, from all the demographic research that people have done on me, we've found out that I have a huge female following. It's a girl-girl type thing.
Stripperella? I don't know what I was expecting. Nipples that cut glass. Life is funny.
Eventually you just have to realize that you're living for an audience of one. I'm not here for anyone else's approval.
In order for a man to feel whole, he needs someone to look up to and someone to look up to him.
Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror.
The best decisions you ever make are usually the ones you make even when everyone else says not to do it.
Yes, Hef's sleeping with them all. For real! I've actually walked in on him. See, one time I was over at the mansion with some friends. We were swimming in the grotto, and I decided to walk around the house a bit. As I was walking around, I ran into one of the girls. And she's like, "Come upstairs." So I went upstairs, and there's Hef on the bed. There's baby oil, there's toys flying every which way, there's all these girls naked. It was like watching a movie. I was standing in the doorway just looking -- for a really long time. And finally I realized they were all looking at me! I realized, Okay, this is really happening. And then I heard this voice from downstairs. It was [photographer] David LaChapelle. I heard him calling my name. And it kind of snapped me back to reality. I ran back downstairs.
Rock stars are like prophets. There's something about somebody who can get up on a stage and sing. And then when they write you songs, forget it, okay?
You know when a prayer is answered.
My doctor says, "You have hepatitis C." And I go, "Okay, how do I get rid of it?" And he's like, "You can't. This is what you're going to die from." I was in the middle of shooting VIP; I didn't know what to do. This wash came over my body. And then the doctor says, "Do you know how you got it?" I said no. And he said, "Your husband never told you he had it?" It kind of threw me for a while. Obviously, it's a hard thing to tell someone, but I wish he could have had the nerve to tell me. Obviously, his ego was more important than my life.
Sometimes sex gets in the way of a relationship.
My best friend has been my best friend for twenty-five years. She works for the DMV in Canada and has this very normal life. She's beautiful. And she has the same problems that I do; it's just all relative. Like, she works in an office. Sometimes, if someone else says something about her, she's just devastated. And me, I might be in a tabloid or something. But she goes through the same feelings I do. She'll be like, "This girl in the office did this horrible thing to me!" And I'll be like, "Did you see The Enquirer?"
I'm not telling what I'm obsessed with.
I don't know if you can call me an artist or not, but I feel like I've created my life day by day. It wasn't, like, this whole plan: I'm going to conquer the world. I've been blessed with opportunities in Hollywood. I've made a career out of it somehow. I don't even really know how I did it.
Love never goes away; it just changes form.
Time passes, (crap) happens, you do the best you can. We put so much drama into everything. You gotta remember to breathe.
What I've Learned: Homer Simpson
When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word. There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.
Kids are like monkeys, only louder.
If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.
There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis.
You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.
You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.
I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.
You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.
There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.
The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.
There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.
Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.
I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.
Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.
I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.
Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.
Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.
Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.
I never ate an animal I didn't like.
A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.
I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.
Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.
Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.
When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.
If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet.
I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.
Never throw a butcher knife in anger.
The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.
My favorite color is chocolate.
Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.
The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.
If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?
I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger.
Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants.
When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers.
I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.
When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep.
What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?
Reading: Philosophy: The Power of Ideas with PowerWeb
Reading: Philosophy: The Power of Ideas with PowerWeb
